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OKAY, DON’T PANIC, MY DOMAIN’S HERE!

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yeyHello there, readers!

This will be my last post for flowersforkimberly.wordpress.com. Yes, you read that right.

But don’t worry, because flowersforkimberly.com is now alive and kicking! LMAO. You can still get updates from me and my never ending adventures and failures. My platform is still WordPress so you can always follow me again. 😉

Thank you for one and a half year of support and love! Seriously, I won’t be able to do this without you. 🙂

See you, folks! Visit the new Flowers for Kimberly and tell me what you think!

xoxo,

Kimberly ♥

Flowers And Feminism

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So I’ve bumped upon this “Run Like a Girl” campaign from Always and I’ve never been so proud of my gender. *Blushes*

People have this notion that being a woman means being weak. Maybe because we’re always the ones who loved way too much and are always vocal about it. Maybe because we are allowed to cry. Or maybe because the society protects us more because of the fact that more and more men perceive us as sex objects.

The truth is it’s a man’s world, and it will always be until the women of our generation make their stand and decides to tell the world that women, like men, deserves the freedom to walk alone at night without ever worrying about rape, the freedom to speak their mind in law school without being judge for being a woman, the right to choose when she needs to settle down without people telling her that she’s beyond her time. We don’t need strong-willed and outspoken women, we need women who knows their worth and decides when to say “NO” when they’re not enjoying themselves anymore.

We need women who travels a lot so she knows her value in the eyes of every race, of every community. We need women who reads and who writes, so she’ll drown the world with her words, with her wit, with her intelligence. And even if our current situation still involves sexism and misogyny, our minds will be free.

Lastly, we need a woman who’s unbiased, who knows that respect needs to be earned. That in order to be respected, we must also respect others. That in order to not be judged, we should also refrain from being judgmental. That feminism aims for gender equality, not gender greatness. We shouldn’t think that we are better than men, rather, we should keep in mind that we are equal to men.

We need the world to know that rape isn’t okay, and it will never be. That gender oppression is not our fault. We are striving for equality because we want to prove that we are not weak, that it’s okay to run for marathons and win. That it’s okay to beat a man’s ass in Tekken, that it’s okay to wear whatever we like without being called a whore or a slut, that high heels and lipstick doesn’t really mean that we’re dumb. And that wearing our bikini doesn’t mean that we’re asking to be sexually assaulted.

And I am not only calling the attention of all our women. I am also trying to reach our men. Weigh your words carefully, respect women because you want to get the same respect. If you offend a woman, think about your mother, your grandma, your sisters, your wife, your daughter. Think about how it feels like if you were sodomized and your ass was ripped open by someone because you’re a weak shit.

Think about that. And think about that real hard.

Day One

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Day One

“These are the hands of fate, you’re my Achilles heel. This is the golden age of something good and right and real. And I never saw you coming, and I’ll never be the same.”

I just saw this photo on Tumblr and I don’t even know what to feel. So many emotions in a span of 24 hours and I’m tired of all the drama and all the shits and all the pretensions and fake, imposing people.

Something’s clear to me though: we always cry because it matters.

I cried beside you inside that sad, yellow room when an Alison Krauss song starts playing on the radio. I cried because I’m weak and you’re so damn important to me.

And you will always be.

Don’t Ever Let Them Detain You

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Flowers for Kimberly

Photo for inspirational purposes only. All texts are mine. 🙂

Sometimes, we care about a person way too much. Sometimes, they take us for granted and we let them because we know that it’s what we deserve. Sometimes, it hurts so bad that we don’t feel a thing and crying nor screaming won’t pacify us. They always told us to move on, without ever knowing that we almost lost our lives trying to. We have no idea how to be whole again and they have no idea how it feels like to be broken every time.

They don’t understand us because they don’t understand our pain, they hurt us and we let them because we love them too much. And the sad part is that our “too much” will never be enough. We could’ve offered them the world and everything that we have and everything that we will ever be, but they refused it. And we spent the rest of our lives wondering why.

Sometimes, we need to save ourselves; we need to fix ourselves, because no one will ever do that for us. Sometimes, we need to realize that we need to be happy, and we should let ourselves be happy. We will still love them, that’s for sure. Even after all these years, even after all the pain. We will still love them as eagerly as we have loved them before. Girls like us, we are doomed to love like that. And it’s only right that this time, someone would actually love us the way we always wanted to be loved, that someone would actually love us and all our brokenness.

We should get our papers, take a passport photo, and apply for a visa. Get a plane ticket, pack our bags, and put on our best shoes. We will leave the cold nights, cigarette butts, and unsaid words behind because we are going to a place where they would never ever find us.

“She’s gone, she lost it”, they will say, without knowing that they’re the ones who lose us. And as years will pass by, there will be a legend in the town that once swore us, about a girl who loved too much…

and left.

The Truth About My Choice to Stay Single

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Photo for inspirational purposes only.

Photo for inspirational purposes only.

Alright, alright. This is another inspirational and personal post for FFK.

Lately, I find myself pressured to have a new partner. After my break-up from my first boyfriend, everybody’s been all eyes and all ears on who I’m with and who among them that I’m actually dating, and who among them will probably be my next love interest. I mean, I don’t understand what the fuss is all about. I’m only twenty. Ten years to thirty and I’m not even close to settling down. Even my Mom bugs me about my current love situation now that I have a job and all, and all I could do is shrug and tell her it will come in the right time.

Yes, okay. I won’t be hypocrite about it, I’m dating guys. And it fucking bores me. Opening yourself and your life to someone again, it somehow get in your nerves. I just want some time alone. That’s it. And when I told them that sentence, they thought that I’m a bitter bitch who can’t get over with her first love.

Well, that’s partly true. PARTLY. Because who can forget about their first love, right?

And here’s the whole truth.

I’m not single because I live in unending bitterness as I sulk in the corner thinking how that bastard broke my heart. NO. I’m single because I chose to. For what he’s up to right now, I’m happy for him. Maybe our relationship won’t really work out well if we stayed for too long. Maybe we’re both toxic to each other, maybe we drag each other down instead of lifting each other up. We made mistakes, I made mistakes. But I’m not the same person since then, because I learned.

I’m single because I want to do what I want to do before. And I want to do it alone. I want to love myself first and accept all the imperfections that I have so nobody can use it against me. I want to save myself because I’m no princess, and I don’t need to be saved. Because in solitary loneliness, you’ll have a clear view of what you really want and how you really want them.

I want to fall in love with my books, with my writings, with my words. I want to fall in love with the world and all its heartaches and glory. I want to just go out there and live. Just live. Savor every breath I take, enjoy every beer, every coffee, every late night talks, every pancakes and cheesecakes, and waffles, and dark chocolates. I want to touch the impossible, and probably fight the impossible. I want to live without any restrictions, or without worrying about anything nor anyone.

And I don’t think that I need a man to do it with me right now. Because I believe that this moment is mine. And I need this as much as I need that thick slice of pizza. Haha.

And to those who are currently undergoing this very situation, you are not alone.

To those who already went through it, I am very proud of you. 🙂

xo,

Kim. ♥

Dreams and Those Chances That I Never Took


Flowers for Kimberly

photo for inspirational purposes only

I know that I still need to finish 24 articles within three days, but I just feel the urge to post this as soon as possible before the inspiration run dry.

As I was pondering about my life yesterday, it surprised me how afraid I was in my whole life. Seriously, I’m the type of person who I thought was brave enough to accept things as they are, because I believe that I can’t do anything about it anyway.

Boy, I was so wrong.

There’s a very fine line between the fear of the unknown and the guts to accept the unknown. I thought I’m living the latter, but yesterday, It downed on me that I am actually living the former. I’ve accepted things because I fear them, I don’t want to question anything because I’m scared of the answer and the rejection that comes with it. Yes, maybe I didn’t experience being rejected several times, but I didn’t experience the utter happiness brought by the satisfaction of being successful after several attempts. I didn’t learn through trial and error, that’s the truth. My actions are calculated, my decisions are planned, I’m doing intensive research before jumping into anything. Ask me to go sky diving and I’ll tell you that you need to go first. Ask me to apply for my dream job in my dream company and I’ll tell you I’ll think about it.

Did you ever have that feeling that something’s missing? Yeah, like that cliche movie lines. Or that you should have done something but didn’t do it. I feel it a lot. To put the right words, I feel stuck. And the weird thing about it is I don’t know why. See, I have a job, I’m not unemployed nor underemployed, I have a roof above my head, food and water on the table, and any basic need that a human could ever ask for. I have a lot of dogs at home, they are all pure-breed Labradors and they’re all fluffy and big and sweet, two of them are pregnant and soon enough, our home would be full of black and brown fluffy retarded dogs.

But still, there’s something missing.

I am a simple type of person, my dream is to go to the city and have a job, build a cozy brick house and call it a home, and probably have my own family whatsoever. Or maybe have my own coffee shop, travel to Paris and the rest of Europe, and feed my hobby which is writing and photography.

There are dreams that are impossible for me and God knows how afraid I am to risk something out of normal to achieve it. I let some of the biggest opportunities of my life to pass by. And maybe that’s the sole reason why I always idolize people who always break the norms to get what they want.

Anyway, I’m still learning, I’m only 20 years old. I still have my life ahead of me, and I am beyond happy to realize after 20 years of my existence that I should go after what I want no matter how much it takes.

Because sometimes, all we need is that one big leap.

And I wish you do too. 🙂

xo,

Kim♥

What Happened in Lucban?


I have been posting a lot about myself lately as I will be graduating college and facing the harsh real world soon. I have been through the stressful thesis defense and everything graduation related, and in order to prepare us more (As well as to have a little bit of fun), Our college organized a team building in Lucban, Quezon. An overnight retreat for all of the Mass Communication students.

My life’s been cluttered lately. Everything just doesn’t seem right, and I won’t fool all of you and tell you that I am emotionally stable now because I am not. And I am glad to have some quiet time with my friends and myself to think things over. I guess I’m just going through some phase, or maybe I’m going through middle-life crisis a little too early. Haha!

Anyway, here’s what I’ve learned and realized in our overnight team building in Batis Aramin, Lucban Quezon.

FFK1

I realized that sometimes, it won’t hurt to look back, to accept things as they are, to admit that we are wrong and to forgive ourselves. After all, no one’s perfect.

FFK2

FFK4

All we need is a sense of balance and everything will fall in their proper places. You need to get hurt in order to appreciate the relief that comes next. You need to be lonely in order to appreciate having a company. In every action, there’s a corresponding reaction. I guess that’s just how the universe works.

FFK3Never be afraid to spread your wings. There will be a million things that will drag you down, there will be a million reasons to stop trying and to stop the rejection. But always keep in mind that sometimes, all you need is that one big leap in order to soar and touch the sky. If you do so, remember to keep your feet on the ground.

FFK8

FFK6It feels so good to have someone who will be with you when the going gets tough, who will never let go even if it hurts to be with you. A friend who will share your fears, your doubts, your worries. And who surely deserves to be there when it gets better.

FFK7

FFK9We can’t bring back time, we can’t undo things that we wish we didn’t do. When words are said, when someone’s already hurt, when all is said and done, all we have to do is to forgive. Forgive ourselves, forgive others. And smile because life is so beautiful to live with broken friendships and regrets.

I had enjoyed my stay at Batis Aramin in Lucban, Quezon. And it was one of my unforgettable trips with my besties and with myself.

In years to come, I do hope to have more trips like this.

xoxo,

Kimberly ♥

*Photos are from my friend, Jasmin Lorraine Tan's Camera. :) 

Walking a Mile in These Shoes


Walking a Mile in These Shoes

Excited for our last College Night tomorrow. It’s been four euphoric years. And I will definitely strut these shoes in the dance floor, baby.

xo,
Kim ♥

It’s All Worth it!


It's All Worth it!

This post is again, a personal post.

Thesis, research, study. Whatever you call it, it’s the nightmare of every Mass Communication Student in my University. It’s one step away from Graduation, and the defense day seems like a judgement day for us.

Well, guess what? Yesterday is our Judgement day.

We are one day earlier than our classmates because one of our members will be competing in a press conference the next day (Good luck, Jas!). We are all nervous, we are all scared of losing a whole semester of hard work, stress, and lack of sleep.

But still, we made it! And I would like to thank all the people who supported us along the way. The respondents who answered our survey without hesitation, and those who offered their help. You are our unofficial thesis mates, and we won’t go this far without you, thank you!

To my Thesis mates who are all there to wake me up early because I’m a lame-ass bitch. Whose patience with me are always put to the test. Thank you for a one hell semester. The adventures, the laughter, the last minute stress. We’re all in this together, and I have been so happy to be part of our team. 😉

To our Thesis Adviser, who believed in us from the very first day. We never did regret our decision, you are the best thesis adviser, Ma’am Thea! Thank you for the support, the patience, and the friendship, ma’am. We owe this all to you. 🙂

Lastly, to my batch mates, See you in the industry, bitches. Haha!

xo,
Kim. ♥

For all of the Judgmental Fuckers Out There


For all of the Judgmental Fuckers Out There

Hello there, this one post is for you. 🙂

Do not let your eyes and the rumors deceive you, we all have our story, we all have that one mistake that we wish we never did, but are still thankful because we did it. I can’t compel you to like me nor to stop that whining inside your head. Do what you want to do, as you please. But always remember that If I’m not perfect, you aren’t either.

First, you will never understand me, because you will never understand my pain. You will never understand how it’s like to grow up in my shoes, and how I have been waiting all my life for someone whose surname I didn’t want to carry anymore. You will never understand how it’s like to be alone at night as you hear zillion voices in your head, and you will never understand how to listen to their screams and cry because you realized that you can’t do anything for it to stop and you have to be brave enough not to get your father’s gun.

Secondly, you will never understand me because you will never understand my little joys. You will never understand how it’s like to get drunk at midnight and find yourself sleeping inside an abandoned car with your friends and wait for the sunrise. You will never understand the late night talks and smokes, and how it all takes me off the edge. You will never understand my yearning to meet interesting people and ask them about their art, their tattoos, what their favorite book is, and the euphoria of simply going against the grain. You will never understand me and the people around me because we are real. They might have inks imprinted on their body but I assure you that they are real, at least, more real than you. And I will never give them up for your acceptance.

Lastly, you will never understand me because I am happy on my own. I am living my life the way I have always wanted to live it. And 45 years from now, when all we are are gray hairs, wrinkles, and arthritis, I will gather all my grandchildren by the bonfire on the beach and tell them all of my real adventures.

And someday, if the artists of the next generation will paint our lives, yours will be composed of dots, lines, curves and swirls in a wide, white piece of paper. While mine will never be painted. Because all the artist will go mad when they see how colorful and alive my life is.