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Don’t Ever Let Them Detain You

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Flowers for Kimberly

Photo for inspirational purposes only. All texts are mine. 🙂

Sometimes, we care about a person way too much. Sometimes, they take us for granted and we let them because we know that it’s what we deserve. Sometimes, it hurts so bad that we don’t feel a thing and crying nor screaming won’t pacify us. They always told us to move on, without ever knowing that we almost lost our lives trying to. We have no idea how to be whole again and they have no idea how it feels like to be broken every time.

They don’t understand us because they don’t understand our pain, they hurt us and we let them because we love them too much. And the sad part is that our “too much” will never be enough. We could’ve offered them the world and everything that we have and everything that we will ever be, but they refused it. And we spent the rest of our lives wondering why.

Sometimes, we need to save ourselves; we need to fix ourselves, because no one will ever do that for us. Sometimes, we need to realize that we need to be happy, and we should let ourselves be happy. We will still love them, that’s for sure. Even after all these years, even after all the pain. We will still love them as eagerly as we have loved them before. Girls like us, we are doomed to love like that. And it’s only right that this time, someone would actually love us the way we always wanted to be loved, that someone would actually love us and all our brokenness.

We should get our papers, take a passport photo, and apply for a visa. Get a plane ticket, pack our bags, and put on our best shoes. We will leave the cold nights, cigarette butts, and unsaid words behind because we are going to a place where they would never ever find us.

“She’s gone, she lost it”, they will say, without knowing that they’re the ones who lose us. And as years will pass by, there will be a legend in the town that once swore us, about a girl who loved too much…

and left.

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The Truth About My Choice to Stay Single

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Photo for inspirational purposes only.

Photo for inspirational purposes only.

Alright, alright. This is another inspirational and personal post for FFK.

Lately, I find myself pressured to have a new partner. After my break-up from my first boyfriend, everybody’s been all eyes and all ears on who I’m with and who among them that I’m actually dating, and who among them will probably be my next love interest. I mean, I don’t understand what the fuss is all about. I’m only twenty. Ten years to thirty and I’m not even close to settling down. Even my Mom bugs me about my current love situation now that I have a job and all, and all I could do is shrug and tell her it will come in the right time.

Yes, okay. I won’t be hypocrite about it, I’m dating guys. And it fucking bores me. Opening yourself and your life to someone again, it somehow get in your nerves. I just want some time alone. That’s it. And when I told them that sentence, they thought that I’m a bitter bitch who can’t get over with her first love.

Well, that’s partly true. PARTLY. Because who can forget about their first love, right?

And here’s the whole truth.

I’m not single because I live in unending bitterness as I sulk in the corner thinking how that bastard broke my heart. NO. I’m single because I chose to. For what he’s up to right now, I’m happy for him. Maybe our relationship won’t really work out well if we stayed for too long. Maybe we’re both toxic to each other, maybe we drag each other down instead of lifting each other up. We made mistakes, I made mistakes. But I’m not the same person since then, because I learned.

I’m single because I want to do what I want to do before. And I want to do it alone. I want to love myself first and accept all the imperfections that I have so nobody can use it against me. I want to save myself because I’m no princess, and I don’t need to be saved. Because in solitary loneliness, you’ll have a clear view of what you really want and how you really want them.

I want to fall in love with my books, with my writings, with my words. I want to fall in love with the world and all its heartaches and glory. I want to just go out there and live. Just live. Savor every breath I take, enjoy every beer, every coffee, every late night talks, every pancakes and cheesecakes, and waffles, and dark chocolates. I want to touch the impossible, and probably fight the impossible. I want to live without any restrictions, or without worrying about anything nor anyone.

And I don’t think that I need a man to do it with me right now. Because I believe that this moment is mine. And I need this as much as I need that thick slice of pizza. Haha.

And to those who are currently undergoing this very situation, you are not alone.

To those who already went through it, I am very proud of you. 🙂

xo,

Kim. ♥

My First Ever Anais Nin Encounter


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Anais nin has definitely made up to my “Favorite Classic Women” category.

I remember meeting her six months ago, as I read the introductory page of her book, the Delta of Venus published by Penguin classic, I instantly fall in love. ♥

Actually, I bought this book for a friend who swears by the Author. And I ended up having this one only for myself instead. Haha!

So let me talk about Delta of Venus and my first encounter with Anais Nin.

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Anais Nin is an author famous for her erotic novels like Delta of Venus, Henry and June, Little Birds, and so on. I was first fascinated by her views about the world, feminism, and sex (well, I did a little research before reading the book), then I was lulled into her world because I like her imagination, her way with words, and how it resembles poetry though it’s a straight-face collection of short stories.

I was in love with her (no homo!) and I was in love with Delta of Venus and her flexibility in writing.

Delta of Venus is actually a collection of erotic short stories made by Anais Nin for a living in the 1940s. It’s like 50 Shades of Grey, only it’s more sensible and it’s classier. 

This is Anais Nin. ooh. ♥

This is Anais Nin. ooh. ♥

Over all, I do loved the book and the author, and I will definitely buy her other works. 🙂

xoxo,

Kimberly. ♥

Writer’s Inspiration


Writer's Inspiration

One of my professors posted this on our Facebook group. I’m so inspired and I thought that this is worth sharing. I’m an aspiring writer, but sometimes, its really hard to keep track to writing. And this helped me go back every time I’m lost.

My favorite part?

“You are the master of inspiration, not its slave”

I hope you get inspired too. 🙂

Happy writing everyone.

xoxo,
Kimberly 🙂

Every Woman Should Know This.


I’m active again on my tumblr blog, reblogging endless pictures of nonsense (i.e. quotes, people kissing, funny pictures, and so on) in order to let all my frustrations out. Funny, because reblogging pictures and reading other people’s thoughts about something is quite relaxing. Somehow, it is good to know that somewhere out there, someone is sharing the same frustrations that you have.

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Anyway, as I was browsing my tumblr, I’ve come upon several self-hate and suicidal posts. certain posts like how they think they’re fat, and no body loves them. How ugly they are when they’re not, and how they plan to starve themselves because some douche told them they’re fat. And it’s kinda sad. Because women are born naturally beautiful. Whatever skin color you have, whatever digit that fucking weighing scale told you your weight is, wherever race you belong, and whatever views you have in your mind. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. And don’t let anybody tell you anything different.

When God made Adam, Adam feels so alone and God feels sorry for him, so while he sleeps, God got one of his ribs and from there, came Eve, the first woman. Even if you’re catholic or not, atheist or agnostic, this is one of the perfect example, of how important women is.

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We are no longer an object of pleasure, we are no longer a hole for a man’s dick. We are who we want ourselves to be. We are defined by our heartaches, experiences, adventures, and inner musings that we always keep to ourselves. If you feel fat, don’t starve yourself. Exercise and move your butt, eat healthy foods and take a lot of fiber. Don’t do it to please that douche. Do it for yourself, do it to get a revenge and slap your beautiful self to that shitty guy.

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You have no idea how beautiful you are inside and out, woman.

Hold on, and show the world who’s the real boss.

This is a man’s world? I think not!

 

xoxo,

Kimberly ♥