Sometimes, we care about a person way too much. Sometimes, they take us for granted and we let them because we know that it’s what we deserve. Sometimes, it hurts so bad that we don’t feel a thing and crying nor screaming won’t pacify us. They always told us to move on, without ever knowing that we almost lost our lives trying to. We have no idea how to be whole again and they have no idea how it feels like to be broken every time.
They don’t understand us because they don’t understand our pain, they hurt us and we let them because we love them too much. And the sad part is that our “too much” will never be enough. We could’ve offered them the world and everything that we have and everything that we will ever be, but they refused it. And we spent the rest of our lives wondering why.
Sometimes, we need to save ourselves; we need to fix ourselves, because no one will ever do that for us. Sometimes, we need to realize that we need to be happy, and we should let ourselves be happy. We will still love them, that’s for sure. Even after all these years, even after all the pain. We will still love them as eagerly as we have loved them before. Girls like us, we are doomed to love like that. And it’s only right that this time, someone would actually love us the way we always wanted to be loved, that someone would actually love us and all our brokenness.
We should get our papers, take a passport photo, and apply for a visa. Get a plane ticket, pack our bags, and put on our best shoes. We will leave the cold nights, cigarette butts, and unsaid words behind because we are going to a place where they would never ever find us.
“She’s gone, she lost it”, they will say, without knowing that they’re the ones who lose us. And as years will pass by, there will be a legend in the town that once swore us, about a girl who loved too much…